operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
