We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The air taste purple.
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