I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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