called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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