I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
