No, drunk sperm still make babies.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
