dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
