I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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