That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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