discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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