Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
