omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
