after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Four minutes until I can fart!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize