My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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