since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize