just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
