whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
