Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
