If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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