can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
