the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
