I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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