I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
