I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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