She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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