You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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