If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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