Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Someone came in the potted fern
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
