Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
