Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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