I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
