Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
