Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
