Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
