I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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