i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
