I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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