So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
