Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
