I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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