i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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