How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
