Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
