I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm getting married
To pizza
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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