went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize