Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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