Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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