a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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