are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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