the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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