what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
