i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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