What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
two words...techno handjob
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
