Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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