Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
