i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
