we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
