Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
