Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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