Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
