Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
