Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
