The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize